the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize