My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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