While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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