All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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