Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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