i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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