you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize