he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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