Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
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But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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