I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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