Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize