Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
They have beer where we have blood.
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