Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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