i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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