i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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