# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize