Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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