rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize