I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize