I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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