Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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