it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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