I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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