dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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