and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
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Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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