my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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