Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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