Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize