The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize