Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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