i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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