Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize