So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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