if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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