I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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