I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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