we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize