You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize