I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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