Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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