I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
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He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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