Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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