I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
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His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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