Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize