There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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