wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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