Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize