she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize