yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm really into asian looking animals
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
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