Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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